I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
