My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
