Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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