She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
