i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize