Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
