put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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