your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
