Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
