so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
