it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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