Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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