The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
