My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
