You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
