Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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