About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
