Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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