Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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