We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
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There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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