How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
