do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
