Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I supernannyed him into submission
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
