i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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