I feel like I'm in dance class right now
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
