eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize