Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
