I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
