Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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