its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
