This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
