i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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