He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
