I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
