Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
