Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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