I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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