It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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