dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm gonna have a badass scar
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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