My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
