she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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