someone threw a dead crab at me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
