Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
