i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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