toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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