Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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