That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
