yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Im part way to drunk.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
