Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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