Do you still have your period?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
