oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
