i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
