Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
