somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
two words: eviction party
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Randomize
