Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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