So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
