im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
