O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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