Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
