Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
