I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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