Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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