in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
