I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
