He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
